Hwasa shared her sad experience of suffering from anorexia during her trainee days. This was openly revealed by the MAMAMOO member in the SBS special program "Bodymentary: Confessions About Weight" which aired on Sunday December 29, 2024.
Anorexia itself is an eating disorder with an excessive fear of gaining weight. People with this condition will do anything to lose weight. If left untreated, anorexia can trigger serious health problems due to extreme nutritional deficiencies.
This disorder is also included in mental illness. Who would have thought that Hwasa had suffered from the disease. She, who is known for her stunning stage performances and self-confidence, revealed how dark and painful her years as an idol trainee were.
"At that time, I didn't know what was right. I thought the only way to debut was to starve myself. So I completely stopped eating," she admitted. Hwasa also recalled how weigh-in days became a nightmare. "We all felt pressure to show a lower number on the scale.
The members and I would go to the pharmacy and buy laxatives, hoping it would help us lose weight before getting on the scale," she continued. Furthermore, Hwasa shared a heartbreaking moment when she broke her strict diet by eating black sesame rice cakes.
"I felt so guilty. I had worked so hard to lose weight, and the thought of eating made me angry at myself. All that guilt and anger just poured out. I cried and ended up throwing up everything I had eaten. That's when my anorexia started."
With this painful and sad experience that she had experienced, Hwasa finally gave birth to the song "Maria". She said, "I poured it all out in 'Maria'. Unfortunately, nothing changed. However, at least those who listened to the song said that they felt comforted.
They said that I became more confident, but it was all thanks to you (fans). That was really nice." Lastly, the 29-year-old singer had a profound message for those out there who are always having trouble with their weight. "The keyword 'weight' itself is so boring.
If we all think about it a little bit more lightly, I think we will see a lot of things that are more fun than our weight. If we do that and take care of ourselves, I think we will be able to find that healthy balance," Hwasa concluded.
Hwasa’s emotional confession sheds light on the struggles many K-Pop idols face behind the scenes, even as they appear confident and glamorous in the spotlight. Fans have since expressed their support for Hwasa, praising her for her courage in sharing such a personal story.
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